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The Dating Game (more precisely The Online Dating Game)

April 24, 2013

So again I find myself single, and this time in a different country where I know only a few people. Obvious choice is to try a spot of online dating – I’m not a big fan of the one night stand scene any more – been there, done that! I’ll admit I’m not looking for a full on relationship, but a bit of fun would be good and you have to start somewhere!

So online dating it is!

For those that have been lucky enough to not have tried it yet, there are multiple choices, nearly all of them claiming it’s free to sign up. Balls! OK so it’s free to sign up, you then get a hit from an interested party and receive a message from them – then bang – not free any more, and not cheap either I might add! Then you have to find some suitable photos (apparently you stand a better chance if you have a photo), fill in all the what you like to do, your personal details – height, age, job etc.. and then comes the really fun bit – writing your profile. What do you say about yourself that doesn’t make you sound big headed or really pathetic?

I find myself back on one of the biggest free online dating sites (tried it out in the UK before I left – with mixed luck), with a bit of trepidation. The first few weeks are spent sifting through the truly outrageous messages from some ‘interesting’ members, if you’re lucky you might get a few messages from really nice people. But generally you get the “Wow you look f***ing sexy – want to f***”. This time I even received a message asking if I wanted to be a submissive, but he said if I was interested I’d have to call him master and do his bidding – but in return I’d get great pleasure from his 9″ black cock! Hmmm tempting – however I’d never have been able to keep a straight face – don’t think I have the submissive personality he’s looking for!

After a couple of weeks your profile drops down the search list a bit and the messages start to dry up – time to start fishing myself and start searching the local database for an eligible bachelor. So I search through a bit and find a few good looking men who sound interesting and send what I hope might be a friendly yet intriguing message. Hit send – fingers crossed for a positive reply. Or just a reply would be good! No luck there – ok on to the next one and the next one etc etc. Then hurrah replies!  Finally I get a bite – so you do the usual a few e-mails back and forth get the introductions out of the way, then the ‘what are looking for on here’ to decide if you are both looking for the same things and if it’s worth carrying on. You both decide that you’re looking for the same thing and so the e-mails continue. Now I’m sorry, I like chatting with people as much as the next person, but I’d much rather do it face to face. So the obvious choice is to suggest a meeting – a drink, walk in the park, nothing outlandish just something relaxed! And quiet it goes! It seems that nearly every time I suggest a meeting I don’t hear anything from them. Am I being too forward, too fast? Do the local men need to make the 1st move – if so, when do they make it?? We don’t bite – well not that hard anyway!

Then there are the ehem gentlemen who are really very forward and move the e-mails forward very quickly, ok I’m game for a little bit of sexting fun – especially when they send photos! Main problem with this direction of chatting, you’re never going to meet them! My theory on this one – they can’t perform to the level they’ve set for themselves!

So far it’s not going too well! Still no point in giving up as that only means no fun at all!

Then a message – from a decent sounding gentleman. And yes he wants to meet! Hurrah! So a good couple of dates go past and a 3rd one arranged and suddenly no contact from him, no responses, nothing! 3 weeks pass and finally a message – he’d not paid his phone bill and had been cut off, hmm so e-mail contact was out then? Phoning me from a work phone not a possibility? A flaky fella I don’t need. So I thank him for his time and sweet messages and move on. This was October. At Xmas time I get a very sweet message from him, and deciding I’d probably been a bit hasty in not giving him another chance I tell him that in the new year if he wants to meet up to let me know. Seems to have made his Xmas, so he says yes and he’ll check his schedule. And again I don’t hear back from him, how can he be paying me all these compliments in his messages and then not follow through on the simple part of arranging another date! Sigh! Again I delete his number from my phone and give up on him (after having sent him a few messages – and nice messages not horrible ones!) Then yesterday (end of April) I get another message from him asking for a 2nd chance and to see if he’s not totally blown it! Well I’ll give him one thing at least he has balls to come back and ask – but sorry dude – too little too late!

I’ve probably given online dating a really bad review from this – I have to keep in mind this site is free and for that I’m very grateful, I just wish that to the guys you send a message  they’d respond with a thank you but no back. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s just polite. And in having spoken to some guys that are on the dating site it turns out that some of the women are just as bad as the men!

So you’re probably now wondering why do I keep bothering with the online dating scene – and yes I keep wondering it too. There is an option on the online profile to just look for hang out (don’t confuse this with the people looking for intimate encounter as there is an option for that too!). In the last few months I’ve been contacted by a couple of guys just looking for a friend, and I’m always looking for new friends, who isn’t? And these 2 new friends seem to have some good benefits 😉 both of them have said they never intended to end up as fwb’s.  So for now looking for a relationship is still on the back burner and I’m just going to have some fun. Oh and a tip – if you’re going to go on an online dating site – never write that you’re looking for some fun, no matter how innocently you write it, you’ll get all sorts of messages from weirdos!

From → Random

  1. Hi Jules,
    I just wanted to say thanks for following our blog, and also to offer a bit of encouragement on the on-line dating front. She Cooks and He Cleans met via an on-line dating site over eight years ago (yahoo personals), for which we are eternally grateful. We knew it was a good match the first time we met for lunch, even though some of the communication prior to that had been awkward (I hate talking on the phone). Yes, you will have to sort through the weirdos, the two-timers, the flakes – but use your best judgement and intuition, don’t lower your expectations, and keep looking. Good luck!

    • Thanks for that – this is why I do stick at it – because you do hear about success stories and it is a good way to meet people even if some of them are rather bizarre!

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